I have been over at the mother ship, tangelaekhoff.com attempting to build a business I’m thinking about chucking it all and just becoming a YouTube vlogger… trying to figure out what to sell has been a huge obstacle. Life makes sense here….I sell nothing. I just write funny. That’s easy.
I ask you guys this: Can art and commerce ever be easy for people who don’t have a million followers of Twitter? Leave me a comment below and gimme some suggestions…because I’m about to go nuts!
Hello Happy Face!
I wanna let you in on a secret: I’m kinda funny.
I dabbled in stand-up comedy off and on since 1999. I lived in Montgomery, Alabama and there was no intentional comedy scene. Hey, living in a state that always ends up on the national news for stupid stuff doesn’t make it a proper comedy scene. By 2008 I decided if I was going to start my campaign to replace Sherri Sheppard on The View, have a career in comedy, I had to start producing my own comedy shows. I used my life as a maid as material for my one woman, tour-de-force, Waaaayyy Off Broadway show (Alabama is like a million miles from New York City that qualifies as Off, right?) The Recession Maid Me Do It! I developed a small,loyal following a.k.a. The Dust Bunnies and a local nightclub allowed me to perform. For almost a year I was famous! Not Kardashian famous, more like “are you that cleaning lady ?” famous!
It took six moths after we moved to Oklahoma for me to get on stage. Starting over was hard. I had no Dust Bunnies, and the comedy club was a boys club! My very first night on stage, I won a coveted slot in the finals of a comedy competition. I competed against nine other comics (all men) who brought the audience (almost all women) and I stole their thunder. They were PISSED. Only two of the comics acknowledged my win afterwards. The rest of them gave me the stink eye…which I met with my signature eye roll, tooth suck, and cobra neck…growing up in the projects has its privileges.
In August I had a great round of PR and a sad round of reality. I was featured in Woman’s Day and the Tulsa World. I was asked by a promoter to perform in one of his shows. My gut told me to say no, but didn’t. I had to cancel the show because I visited with my Mama for my birthday– a month before she died. There was no way I could perform knowing that I had just seen Miss Ella for the last time this side of heaven. I called the promoter and left him an e-mail a week before the show. He told me he understood.
The finals for the competition rolled around in November. I started promoting the hell out of it. Two days before the finals, the club had a waiter inform me via Facebook that I had been disqualified from the competition because I missed the show in August. Here’s the thing: there were no written or implied rules. The show I missed had nothing to do with the competition. The club had already decided who they wanted to win; and it wasn’t me. I was PISSED. This was a case of full blown Hateration. I commenced to open up a 50 gallon drum of Facebook Whupass that cost them business, but it cost me more. I became a mad clown. I’m sure that I came across as the stereotypical “Angry Black Woman.” (By the way, I am offering confidential assertiveness lessons, if you need to up your “Don’t make me cut you!” factor …send me an e-mail!)
The club wronged me, but I had to face the truth. I didn’t want to be a comic on the road going from club to club, state to state, being heckled by drunken frat boys and dealing with the “He Man Woman Hater” mentality that the comedy business seems to be ate up with! Besides, the pay sucks. It’s a horrible business model and the comedy lifestyle is negative and destructive to families.
I learned 3 very important lessons:
Being disqualified was a good thing. I am no longer wasting time or energy on a purpose that isn’t mine. Even the good book says that sometimes what is meant to do you harm works out for your good! And, Honey Child, it’s all good!
What has been the biggest blessing in disguise in your life? How did you turn a “Somebody Done Me Wrong Song” into a huge chunk of HAPPY in your life? Leave a comment below. And please feel free to share this with your friends! Thank you for reading…and have a Big, Fat, Happy Day!
Hello GORGEOUS! Welcome to BIG FAT HAPPY LIFE!
I am launching this blog with a great sense of pride and love. My Mom died on September 10, 2011. She was my SHERO. She was a walking ball of Southern wit, sass, wisdom, inspiration, and love. She was all that and a big bag of chips. For years, I watched my mom coach and mentor hundreds of people, without ever making any money. She helped women of different colors shapes and sizes put their lives back together, which was a pretty big feat for a poor, black woman in Montgomery, Alabama. My Mom was the Tony Robbins of the projects, baby! She wasn’t down with the fire walking, but she was quick to do a group mastermind over a home cooked Sunday dinner!
She left me the greatest legacy a girl can have: the ability to mentor and coach others, and that’s why I started BIG FAT HAPPY LIFE. This is a blog for those of you who need a little somethin’ somethin to motivate and empower you to make the most of what you have now in order to have a Big Fat Happy Tomorrow.
One of my mom’s favorite sayings was, “Girl, you better love your own damn self!” TRUTH!
BIG, FAT, HAPPY LIFE is here to help you love your own DAMN self. It ain’t about the size of your bank account (girl, what’s $1 million dollars x 10- all that?) or your boobs (mine are currently scrubbing the side of my chair after having three damn kids) or how old you are ( I will be 29 for the 15th time this year) or the color of your skin ( delicious mocha, dammit!) ; it’s about how happy you are. I’m pretty damn happy for a fat, black, old, mental millionaire!
I love my own damn self, and I intend to grow a community of women of all shapes and sizes who love themselves,too. Society has a way of working a number on us. Society tries to divide and conquer using stupid ass, arbitrary definitions of beauty and success. Society can kiss my BIG FAT BLACK ASS! Can I get an AMEN? I answer to THE ONE, not the many.
I can’t tell you how many years I’ve wasted worrying about fitting in, being accepted, and being afraid to just be me. Well, that has all changed. I am living a BIG, FAT,HAPPY LIFE.
I am not waiting until I lose 20 more pounds, get the perfect hair, until the kids are out of the house, until I can afford it. I am living a BIG, Fat, Happy Life right damn now…because tomorrow I could be a big black woman trapped in a little bitty casket…
It is my intent to provide the BIGGEST! FATTEST! HAPPIEST! LIFEY-EST! content on the planet! I am searching high and low for experts…or just regular folks who write, who are passionate about leaving the world a little better, who are interested in being part of a beloved community, and most importantly, are interested in helping others to “LOVE YOUR OWN DAMN SELF!” If you’d like to submit a guest post on happiness, wellness, something funny or fun, inspiring, motivating, spiritual with a “loving” God message (sorry, don’t do fire and brimstone…) send it to bigfathappylife at (g) mail dot com. Keep in mind, we don’t do fat shame or self hate up in this piece, and I will cuss you out and activate the prayer chain on your evil ass if you come up in here with that.
Today is a new beginning for me, and I hope it is for you, too! Welcome to your BIG, FAT, HAPPY LIFE!
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Happy blogging!
